To the Band of Brothers: Unanswered Prayers

When I was a kid, I would pray and ask God to set me up with a girl who would eventually be my wife. Many of my friends were already going “steady” and the pressure was beginning to mount to have someone I could let borrow my letterman jacket and take to prom. I was basically asking God to be my spiritual wingman. My ask also came with certain specifications. I didn’t think they were too outrageous. I simply applied the traditional “three C” rule: I wanted her to be Catholic, Cuban, and “conocida” (i.e., from a family we knew). I thought the demands were pretty reasonable.

Even at the time, I was aware this prayerful petition was motivated by the simple fact that as the oldest of my father’s children, I felt an obligation to provide for him the first grandchild. My father was the first of his siblings and, eventually, fulfilled his duty to provide his parents with their first grandson. In addition, after three generations of Guillermo García-Tuñóns, I needed to continue the lineage and christen my first male child with that same name. Again, pretty reasonable and well-intentioned.

But simply put, God did not comply. As history has demonstrated, God had other plans. For as fervently as I prayed for a damsel, not so much in distress but actually in prosperity, God paid no heed. While I am sure He patiently listened to my plea, He patiently did not concede. My prayer went unanswered. God had bigger plans for me. While those plans were not apparent to me at the time, they were gradually revealed over time. Now, my prayer is one of gratitude. I give thanks to God not only for my priesthood, but for not answering my prayers.

It seems country singer Garth Brooks had a similar experience. In the typical fashion of country music, a heartwarming story gets told lyrically and helps teach a lesson every country boy or girl should know. Brooks has a song called “Unanswered Prayers” (1990). Together with his wife, he runs into an old girlfriend he wanted to marry when he was younger. He prayed he would, but it never worked out. Now, with his wife by his side, he thanks God it didn’t. He sings, “Remember, when you're talkin' to the man upstairs; And just because he doesn't answer, doesn't mean he don't care; Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.”

Even Jesus experienced unanswered prayers. One of the most powerful moments in the gospels comes when he is at the Garden of Gethsemani on the Mount of Olives. Jesus knows the end is near and things are heating up. His prayer at that moment is to ask his Father to save him from the suffering and death he is about to experience. He asks, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me” (Matthew 26:39b). But as we all too well know, God does not concede. God had bigger plans for His Son.

What a lesson about prayer. We sometimes have it wrong. Prayer is not an exercise meant to change the mind of God, but an exercise meant to change the heart of man. Prayer is about allowing our hearts to conform to the will of God. It requires trust because it means no matter what happens, whether we get what we want or not, what God wills for us is greater than what we will for ourselves. We have to trust that God will never simply give us what we want, but what we need. Just remember that the next time you’re talkin’ to the man upstairs.

Auspice Maria