To the Band of Brothers: December 10, 2020
Good morning!
I recently read an article written by a child psychologist claiming parents should never hit or spank their children. She claims such forms of corporal punishment only generate violent children. She suggests instead a more “formative” type of reprimand, something more “caring,” “loving,” and “humane.” Children, she says, are like “little people” and should not be “intimidated” or “made to feel small.”
Well, I’m definitely no child psychologist, but I have to disagree with some of the conclusions drawn by this expert. Both my mother and father successfully raised nine children from the late 60s to the early 2000s with a lot of caring, love, and humanity, but also with belts, sandals, and pinches. I don’t think my siblings and I are violent or emotionally challenged (except maybe me when the Dolphins lose on Sundays).
I admit my parents occasionally used a belt or a conveniently available sandal to administer parental justice. They were caring and loving enough to know when that form of punishment was needed. Knowing when my mother meant business was easy because it was the only time she ever used both my legal first and middle names. Hearing the words “Guillermo Manuel'' bellow from the deep crevices of her stomach, up her fiery esophagus, through her clenched-teeth, and off her tongue was disturbing. I remember how she would strongly roll the “r” in Guillermo while grinding her teeth in-between syllables.
This pronunciation of my name was the clearest of all indicators that it was time to say my prayers and ask the good Lord for a legion of angels to protect me. I come from a very long line of men whose name is Guillermo, I’m number four actually, and in order to distinguish between us I was given my Irish great-grandfather’s nickname: Willie. That’s what everyone has always called me. Only two people in this world have called me “Guillermo Manuel”: Fr. Angel Villaronga, OMI on the day of my baptism as he poured holy water over my head and my mother when she wanted to take that head off my shoulders.
Knowing when my father wanted blood was a little more complicated because he gave no warning. He was able to go from 0 to 60 in seconds and, before you knew it, a belt was flying in the direction of your gluteus maximus. Don’t get me wrong, every one of his outbursts was completely justified and provoked by my childish shenanigans, but I wish he would have given me at least some kind of verbal warning. That way, I could at least get a head start or brace the gluteus.
To be totally honest, I actually preferred these forms of punishment over more serious and potentially harmful alternatives. For example, I much preferred a sandal (chancleta in the Cuban lexicon) to the head over going to bed without dinner any day of the week, month, or year. While some may find that food deprivation is an acceptable style of reprimand, Cuban parents consider it to be insanely inhumane.
Speaking of Cubans, they would also not be in favor of the American “switch.” If you don’t know, the switch was a wooden stick; usually, a branch from a tree used to discipline a kid in the gluteus maximus (a very popular area of the body for punishment). The switch would have been unacceptable for my Cuban parents. By the time my dad would have gone to the tree in the front yard to get it, I would have been halfway to my grandmother’s house who would have shielded me from every blow and insisted that it was my dad’s fault I misbehaved.
It’s funny how I can look back on my childhood now that I am in my fifties and recall how happy and healthy my upbringing was. Even though I remember various times I was spanked, pinched, and belted, I mostly remember I was loved. I think this was the secret to my parents’ success. Even though they’re not child psychologists, they should write an article.
Auspice Maria
BELEN JESUIT PREPARATORY SCHOOL
500 SW 127th Avenue, Miami, FL 33184
phone: 305.223.8600 | fax: 305.227.2565 | email: communications@belenjesuit.org
500 SW 127th Avenue, Miami, FL 33184
phone: 305.223.8600 | fax: 305.227.2565 | email: communications@belenjesuit.org
Belen Jesuit Preparatory School was founded in 1854 in Havana, Cuba, by Queen Isabel II of Spain. The task of educating students was assigned to the priests and brothers of the Society of Jesus (the Jesuits), whose teaching tradition is synonymous with academic excellence and spiritual discipline. In 1961, the new political regime of Cuba confiscated the school's property and expelled the Jesuit faculty. The School was re-established in Miami the same year, and over the next decade, continued to grow. Today, Belen Jesuit is situated on a 34-acre site in western Dade County, just minutes away from downtown Miami.