Remembering Deacon O’Malley

There is grace in death. I know it seems hard to believe, but there is. We usually associate death with sorrow and pain, but there is also grace. If we believe grace to be what the Catholic Church defines it to be, the “supernatural gift bestowed upon man for his eternal salvation,” then every human experience has the potential to be filled with grace. Including death itself. 

Death is part of the reality of man. Everyone dies… no exceptions. It doesn’t matter if you’re male or female, rich or poor, black or white, Catholic or Jewish; we all die. 

Deacon O’Malley died. And there is no question his passing has left our Belen community saddened. No longer will he be the first person to arrive at our campus early in the morning. No longer will we wake up in the morning to find his famous reflections from the Deacon’s Den in our inbox. No longer will we see him walking our hallways wearing his signature Belen vest. And we will no longer hear him proclaim the gospel at our schoolwide Masses. But while his death has been most definitely felt, it has also left us with an experience of grace that he would want us to take advantage of.

When I visited Deacon in the hospital on Ash Wednesday, shortly before he died, his wife Patty asked me to bring ashes to him. As he sat in the hospital recliner, surrounded by members of his family, I marked his forehead with ashes and uttered the words the Church has been uttering for thousands of years, “Remember you are dust and to dust you shall return.” Before I left, he had a request. He asked me to leave the ashes behind. He was concerned that many of the Catholic nurses and doctors caring for him did not have the opportunity to attend Mass that day. So, he ministered to each one, marking them with a cross of ash on their forehead. He ministered to the last moment. That is grace.

Not many people were aware Deacon O’Malley had been sick for some time. He had battled cancer for several years. Throughout all this time, while going through chemotherapy and radiation, feeling the effects of that kind of intense therapy, he kept showing up for work. No matter how badly he felt, he continued counseling his students, serving at Mass, and organizing the altar servers. He continued to write his daily reflections and sent them early in the morning. He continued leading the Champions of the Rosary during lunch, searching out students who needed to prepare for the sacraments of initiation, and prepared them to receive them. That is grace. 

And when he was no longer able to go to school or even write his messages, he would call me on the phone to ask about all of you. He wanted to know how you were doing. He would ask me to tell you how much he missed you and was praying for you. He would routinely check in on Mr. Vazquez, our sacristan, who also worked with the altar servers, to make sure the Masses were covered and that each altar server had an opportunity to serve. That is grace.

You probably know Deacon O’Malley was a lawyer by profession. He was very good at his job. He once shared with me that his most famous client was Elvis Presley. He was a partner in his law firm. Then one day, after discerning that God was calling him to something more, something deeper, and after probably getting permission from his wife Patty, he left his more lucrative job to teach at Belen. Think about it, after all those years of studying at Notre Dame, then law school at the University of Florida, after studying for and passing the bar, he left it all behind to teach middle school. That most have required great trust in God, an overwhelming desire to surrender to the will of God. That is grace.

And then, when he realized he was dying and didn’t have much time left on this earth, he calmly and confidently called me on the phone to talk about his funeral. He had it all planned out. He wanted his funeral Mass held at St. Richard’s, the parish where he had to be held at St. Richard’s, the parish where he served for many years. The place where he preached at Sunday Masses thousands of times, where he baptized hundreds of children, and where he spiritually counseled scores of people. Then, if possible, he said, he wanted a memorial Mass to be celebrated in his beloved Our Lady of Belen Chapel. This chapel that he saw rise from the ground up and served so proudly from the day of its dedication to the last day of his time at Belen was very special to him. He wanted his servers, Team Lombardi, to be present at this Mass. He wanted his students to be here to pray for the repose of his soul, for his wife Patty and son Robbie. He very graciously wanted me to preside at the Mass and to remind each and every one of you that he loved you and was always thinking of you. On that afternoon when he called to speak about this, he wasn’t afraid, he wasn’t angry, he wasn’t even sad… he was prepared. That is grace.

In today’s gospel, John tells us that at the Last Supper, knowing that he was soon going to soon die, Jesus comforts his disciples. He says to them, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God, have faith also in me… Where I am going, you know the way.” Jesus was able to assure his disciples he because he knew that even though death was near, it did not have the final word. Death was not the end. What God had in store was something so great, so powerful, that not even death could deter it. While death will most assuredly come, even more so is eternal life… the resurrection. For that reason, there is no need to be afraid, no need to be angry, no need to be sad. Deacon O’Malley knew this and believed it with every fiber in his body. That is the reason why he ministered to the very end. That is the reason why he kept coming to work even though he was sick. That is the reason why he kept calling to see how you were. That is the reason why he was able to leave his job to become a teacher and counselor at Belen. And that is the reason why he was able to speak to me so calmly about his funeral. That, my brothers and sisters, is grace. 

When, after these words of reassurance, Thomas says to Jesus, “Master, we do not know where you are going; how can we know the way?”, Jesus responds with one of the clearest, most powerful phrases in all the Bible, “I am the way and the truth and the life.” Please, please, understand, Jesus does not say he is a way as if there were more than one. He does not say he is a truth as if there were more than one. He doesn’t say he is a life as if there were more than one. No! He says I am THE way, I am THE truth, and I am THE life. There is only one, Jesus Christ. Deacon O’Malley knew this and both in life and in death, he lived it. That, once again, is grace.

So, at this Mass, we gather together to give thanks to God for the life of Deacon Robert O’Malley. We give thanks to God for having brought him to Belen and given so much to our school community. It was a good life, a blessed life, a life of grace. 

Our Lady of Belen… pray for us.