To My Boys: September 17, 2020

Fr. Willie ‘87
Good morning,

One of the first times I ever left the country was as a junior when we traveled to the Dominican Republic for the Belen Youth Missions. On the last day of the experience, Fr. Eddy Alvarez. S.J. ‘63 gave us some time to buy souvenirs at a local shop. My mother had asked me to get her a “descarada.” These are ceramic dolls that are made in the Dominican Republic and are called “descaradas” because they have no face painted on them.
As I was perusing the shelves, the shopkeeper came up to me and offered to sell me a doll for 300 Dominican pesos, at the time about $20. I picked out the one I liked the most, gave him the money, and walked out with my treasure and a great sense of accomplishment. As I sat in the bus with the wrapped gift, I noticed a friend had also bought the doll. He boasted it had only cost him $15. How was that possible, I thought? I had bought the same exact doll, from the same exact shop, from the same exact shopkeeper. Why did I have to pay more? Something smelled fishy and it wasn’t me.

After further investigation, I discovered my friend had bargained with the guy. When the same 300-peso price was offered to him, he responded firmly he would only pay 200 pesos and, if it wasn’t good enough, he would take his money elsewhere. Low and behold, it worked. And why not? The shopkeeper could afford to sell it at that price because: A, the doll didn’t cost that much to make; and, B, he could make up the difference with whatever sucker came along (the sucker, of course, was me).

Looking back on the experience, I realize I had no practice in bargaining with anyone. In the U.S., the ability to haggle prices with shopkeepers does not exist. Not only that, but I also had no experience in the field because of my father. At home, there was no bargaining with him either.
I can still recall the conversations: 
  • Willie: “Dad, can I go out with my friends tonight?”
  • Dad: “No, you already went out last night. Tonight, you stay here with the family.”
  • Willie: “But we’re not going to do anything. What’s the point?”
  • Dad: “The point is that you are staying here with the family.”
  • Willie: “What if I cut the grass (or wash the car, or walk the dog, or clean up my room, or do the dishes… you get the point)?”
  • Dad: “You have to do those things anyway.” 
Willie: 0; Dad: 1

Or how about this one: 
  • Willie: “Dad, if I get an A in Mr. Pichardo’s chemistry class, can you buy me an Atari?”
  • Dad: “Willie, studying is your obligation. You have to get an A in Mr. Pichardo’s class. And no, you can’t have an Atari.”
Willie: 0, Dad: 2

I can tell you, growing up as a kid, it was not only the Dolphins who could claim to be undefeated in Miami.
There is a psalm in the Old Testament that reads, “Lord, on the day I called for help, you answered me” (138:3). The psalmist expresses there is no doubt God answers when we call out to Him, but notice, he doesn’t exactly say what the answer is. We can ask God for something, but He doesn’t necessarily have to give us what we want because He gives us only what we need. 

In His infinite goodness and with His perfect knowledge, God knows what is best for us even if we don’t. Rest assured, He always answers, but doesn’t always answer the way we expect or with what we want. When we pray for patience, God doesn’t give us patience, but the opportunities to exercise patience. When we pray for courage, He doesn’t give us courage, but the opportunities to be courageous.

I get it, wouldn’t it be much easier if He just handed over the keys to the car, access to the account, raised our allowance, or simply lifted all curfews? Of course, but easier is not better. Sorry, but there is no bargaining with God. How many times has our prayer been nothing more than haggling with Him? God knows perfectly what we need and when we need it. 

Auspice Maria
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BELEN JESUIT PREPARATORY SCHOOL
500 SW 127th Avenue, Miami, FL 33184
phone: 305.223.8600 | fax: 305.227.2565 | email: webmaster@belenjesuit.org
Belen Jesuit Preparatory School was founded in 1854 in Havana, Cuba by Queen Isabel II of Spain.  The task of educating students was assigned to the priests and brothers of the Society of Jesus (the Jesuits), whose teaching tradition is synonymous with academic excellence and spiritual discipline.  In 1961, the new political regime of Cuba confiscated the School property and expelled the Jesuit faculty.  The School was re-established in Miami the same year, and over the next decade, continued to grow.  Today, Belen Jesuit sits on a 30-acre site in western Dade County, only minutes away from downtown Miami.