My Three Jesuit Vows: Living with Radically ‘Open Hands’
(This reflection originally appeared on The Jesuit Post on August 28, 2019, in celebration of his four year anniversary of professing vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience in the Society of Jesus.)
I was freaking out. It was the day before I would profess vows to live poor, chaste and obedient for the rest of my life!
My heart was pounding. In search of some peace, I pulled one of the older Jesuit priests in the house to a community parlor and word vomited all my fears and anxieties about living these promises until the day I die. He reassured me in his typical Cuban-Jesuit wit and wisdom:
“Professing vows is not magic, as if once you read your promises in the Mass you are automatically self-actualized into a completely poor, chaste and obedient Jesuit. Only God can self-actualize instantly, and last time I checked you are not God. As a human, you are promising to become poor, chaste and obedient — on the journey — as you follow Christ. Thus, you are promising to become — every day of your life — a little more poor, a little more chaste, and a little more obedient until the day you die. The promise you are making is that when you look back on your life, you have become poor, chaste and obedient in pursuit of the ultimate goal — God’s Kingdom.”
My peace returned.
So, what actually occurred that day of taking vows?
On August 28th, 2015, on the feast of St. Augustine of Hippo (exactly four years ago today), during a schoolwide “Mass of the Holy Spirit” I professed vows of poverty, chastity and obedience in the Society of Jesus until the day I die. This Mass took place at my middle and high school alma mater, Belen Jesuit Preparatory School in Miami, FL, accompanied by Belen students and teachers, my Jesuit brothers, college friends from Fordham University ’13, my high school friends from Belen Jesuit ‘09, their parents, and my family.
For videos of the main moments of the Vow Mass see here: 1) the official moment of my profession of vows before Jesus Christ in the Eucharist and received by my Provincial, the Very Reverend Fr. Javier Vidal, S.J. (Antilles Province), 2) my thanksgiving speech, 3) the homily and rap song given by former president of Belen Jesuit, Fr. Pedro Suarez, S.J. and finally, 4) a surprise “Thank You” Rap I performed at the end of the Vow Mass for the greater glory of God.
I reminded all the people in the Mass that day that their concrete stories, prayers, friendships, love and lives gave me strength every day in pursuit of God’s Kingdom. I felt as if I took the vows with them and for them as well. They too are on the adventure with me and for me.
My personal handwritten vow formula
Every Jesuit has to handwrite his “vow formula” three times on three separate sheets of paper. One sheet is mailed to Rome, another to one’s Province office (in my case to the Dominican Republic) and the last copy to keep for oneself.
Ever since the day of my vows, I have made it a point to keep my handwritten vows by my bedside. As the final thing I do before going to sleep, I read them aloud. This is not some pious requirement asked of Jesuits, but rather a personal choice. It’s my simple way of saying to God: “I have received it all from You, and I give it all to You.
What do “Open Hands” have to do with the vows?
As a synthesis of my experience as a first-year Jesuit novice in 2014, during my thirty-day silent retreat known as the Spiritual Exercises, I wrote the above poem “Open Hands”. It captures the core invitation God was making to me: to follow His Son Jesus radically and live in the world the way Jesus lived — poor, chaste and obedient to God’s Will.
Originally written in Spanish, the poem “Manos Abiertas” sums up the ‘open hands’ I needed to receive all of God’s gifts, and the open hands to give away those same gifts to every person I encounter.
It was not until 2016, during my graduate studies in digital media at Loyola University Chicago, that I set “Open Hands” to music and adapted it into a “moving poem” that also abstractly encapsulates my vocation story. The various hands in the video belong to Damian Torres-Botello S.J., various youth from St. Jerome Catholic Church and my own hands.
My Jesuit vows of poverty, chastity and obedience, help me to live with radically ‘open hands’ to serve any and all ‘open hands’ I encounter. The vows are a call to love radically.
Can we really live this way for life?
The answer is only by grace, so let us pray:
My Lovingly Liberating God,
Give me hands as free as those of your Son, Jesus Christ
To radically love, give and work.
May my poverty invite others to hold all things with radical freedom to receive and give.
May my chastity invite others to hold all people with radical embrace and compassion.
May my obedience invite others to hold all projects with discernment to radically pursue God’s will and firmly reject that which contradicts it.
Give us Your open hands.
Amen.
BELEN JESUIT PREPARATORY SCHOOL
500 SW 127th Avenue, Miami, FL 33184
phone: 305.223.8600 | fax: 305.227.2565 | email: webmaster@belenjesuit.org
500 SW 127th Avenue, Miami, FL 33184
phone: 305.223.8600 | fax: 305.227.2565 | email: webmaster@belenjesuit.org
Belen Jesuit Preparatory School was founded in 1854 in Havana, Cuba by Queen Isabel II of Spain. The task of educating students was assigned to the priests and brothers of the Society of Jesus (the Jesuits), whose teaching tradition is synonymous with academic excellence and spiritual discipline. In 1961, the new political regime of Cuba confiscated the School property and expelled the Jesuit faculty. The School was re-established in Miami the same year, and over the next decade, continued to grow. Today, Belen Jesuit sits on a 30-acre site in western Dade County, only minutes away from downtown Miami.